Puerto Rico, the Ritz-Carlton hotel. A room without a view surrounded by my mastermind partners and coaches. It is a hive of ideas and conversation and I am silent. My usual energy for discussing business and what’s up ahead is gone. The story of me as health coach has unraveled.
I want to quit.
I’ve been here before, but never most days — never as deeply sure that to quit is the only choice. This does not go unnoticed by one of my coaches.
She asks me to take a walk with her.
We leave the room and she steers us to the deck overlooking the Caribbean. The air is a wall of heat and humidity. The simmering, blue-green sea is hypnotic.
She looks me in the eyes and says “I’m following my guidance, will you play along?”
I nod, and feel into the “wtf” of it all.
“I want you to look at the sea and listen,” she instructs, “I’ll be back.”
I settle in to the possibility.
What I hear does not feel good. “What you are doing isn’t big enough, it doesn’t use you fully.”
WHAT? The thing I love and do well; that thing I’m really comfortable doing isn’t mine anymore?
Then, “Oh crap, I am being called to give up something I know for something unknowable.”
Oddly, after holding my breath for so long, this unknowable thing feels like air.
The other thing I got from my time with the sea: our times demand powerful, unifying words, words that heal, and people with powerful messages and guts.
For the past two years, the new business I launched after that mastermind, Be More Marketable, a copy writing and marketing strategy company, was enough; is enough. It’s not going anywhere. My love of helping mission driven entrepreneurs craft powerful messages and get them out into the world is as satisfying as ever.
Then there’s this, The Divine Wild Ride. Three words that came to me early January of this year as I wrote my first post of the year about feeling your way into a dream year. It ended like this “We’re all on a ride of some kind. I’m enthusiastically going for wild and divine.”
For the better part of the year those words have been banging around in my psyche, wanting attention. I finally asked what to do.
Divine source of course. Call it inner wisdom or anything you are comfortable with. The answer was, “our times demand powerful, unifying words, words that heal, and people with powerful messages and guts. Interview them, start the conversation for the curious ones who are afraid to explore but sense that more might be available than our glorious but limited five senses.”
The guts part? I’m still practicing the courage to fully embrace all that a divine life calls forth but this project is not a choice. Who I am is a soul, is divine, is an explorer and one who seeks to clear the path and share the ride so that we can all live in full expression.